Movies I've Seen

The Frighteners - in which Michael J Fox walks the fuzzy line between helping people and grifting them, while trying to work out some grief. Frank Bannister is the main guy, aka protagonist, and he's got some ghosts that work for him, they do hauntings he sends them to do, and he makes money by "exorcising" the affected homes. He used to be an architect, but he gave up when his wife died a few years ago, and he lives in a home with weather draping instead of windows. So, this is all the normal set up, plus, there's been an epidemic of healthy people having heart attacks. Also, Bannister is an abysmal driver. This leads to him crashing into a fence in some yuppie's yard, like, destroying it, and so he sends his ghosts to haunt the yuppie's place so he won't have to pay the damages. However, Bannister's plan kind of backfires when he gets there to exorcise the ghosts that have been causing ONE NIGHT of havoc, and he sees a weird number bu...

The Rite - in which an ambivalent American man attends seminary school, decides it isn't for him, and then is blackmailed into taking a trip to Rome, to make sure he's sure. It seems like everything would be better if the main guy, Michael Kovak, cared more about his own destiny, but instead, we follow his agnosticism on a roller-coaster ride in the Vatican! Okay, so they send out of normal exorcism class, to an independent study with Anthony Hopkins. Michael has been working with his father as a mortician, so he seems to have the constitution an exorcism requires. Anthony Hopkins is a very good priest, and his main exorcism is on a 16 year old pregnant woman. Michael doesn't believe any of the things he's seeing, even though it is clearly demonic, but he doesn't believe in God, so he can't believe in the Devil. The pregnant possession is awesome, and she, like, coughs up some nails at some point. She's in a lot of pain, and also says some real fucked up...

30 Days of Night - in which vampires who hate to be rushed descend onto a town without a lick of sunlight for a whole month. Barrow, Alaska is located so close to the North Pole that it doesn't get normal sun exposure, and, this is true, every November - December the town goes dark for over a month. The vampire part is not true, it is based on a comic book. So, Josh Hartnett is the Sheriff of this tiny town, and his ex-wife is in town for the day, I hope she doesn't miss the last plane out of town and have to spend the whole month there! Some ghoul has sabotaged all of the radios and escape devices, and then this whole clan of gypsy-looking vampires show up and, like, waste every human they can find. They have some weird, high-pitched screeches, and a mess of pointy fangs. The human smorgasbord goes on for the whole month, slowly picking off any characters remaining in the movie. No one is really interesting, the vampires are pretty cool. They do not speak English, and the ...

Crime Zone - in which the class system is taken deadly seriously, but one cute guy has the courage to stand and do some crime.Okay, so, in the dystopian future, there is a strict class system, and some vague sort of points system, and men who work shitty jobs can be promoted to a higher level in society based on their performance at work. There are also women who work as prostitutes, and not really anywhere else (a few pervert cops), so I think this is all they can do in the future. And the society appears to be a closed municipality, but there is talk of another, better place. So, the main guy is a normal, white guy, level 0, or 0.5, and he works at a cryogenic freezing lab, where the service is purchased by wealthy, older folks, and they freeze themselves with their valuables. They are not in Fry tubes, they are like, hanging around like dry cleaning. So, Guy meets a nice prostitute woman while his gang-friends are maybe working up to raping her, because she is beating them at ...