Skip to main content

Deadpool 2



Deadpool 2 - in which Deadpool cries like a bitch, and I do not. First of all, Deadpool is working, and then he goes home to celebrate an anniversary with his girlfriend, who tells him they can try to have a baby now. Also, he gives her a plot device for a gift, and she gives him her removed IUD. There is no sex scene, and then the two of them are just chilling, and some guy Deadpool neglected to murder comes and kills his girlfriend. Deadpool does not take it well, and even though he like, immediately got revenge on the guy who shot her. Ultimately, he feels both responsible and sad, so he tries to kill himself. It doesn't take. His friend, Colossus, shows up and takes DP to be a part of a B team of X-men, as an official trainee. They go to a showdown between a teen named Russel (Julian Dennison) and some jerks who run the orphanage he lives in. Russel wants to kill the guys who have been abusing him, and Deadpool kind of talks him down, until The kid tells him he was abused by the staff, and DP murders as many orphanage employees as possible until the feds rush in and collar them both, and cart them off to Super Jail. In superjail, Deadpool starts dying, which is great for him, because he's still feeling suicidal as fuck, and Russel is trying to make it in prison. Cable shows up from the future, and he tries to kill Russel, because in the future, Russel kills his family. DP wants to protect Russel cause he's just a kid, so he fights Cable a lot. Then, Russel gets away with Juggernaut, so Deadpool and accused rapist in real life TJ Miller hire a squad to go rescue Russel. They all end up dying except Domino, THANK GOD, because she is amazing. Domino helps DP rescue Russel and fight Cable, and then gets some of her own closure, because the final battle is at that orphanage, where apparently she was abused as well. So, DP and Cable start calling all of the orderlies and employees pedophiles, and I guess they are, and Russel is stalking the evil dude who ran the place, and in the end, Cable tries to kill Russel, but DP takes the bullet for him. It changes Russel's path away from murder, and the Back to the Future fading photo device of a singed teddy bear gets un-burned, so we know it worked. However, Deadpool doesn't actually die, because Cable uses his last time jump to plant the plot device on his costume, so it stops the bullet. The desired effect is still achieved, and everyone lives happily ever after, sort of.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Death Wish

Death Wish (1974) - in which the justice system fails a man who lost his family, and he goes off the rails in finding personal justice. I mean vengeance. Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a husband and father and architect, who has a nice NYC life. One day, near the beginning of the movie, Paul's wife is murdered and his daughter is raped into a catatonic state, from which she will not likely recover. Sexist. Anyways, Paul is destroyed, so his boss sends him out to New Mexico, or another lawless state, for a 3 month long project. Paul does some recovering while he is out there, and is befriended by his big money client, with a big hat and big guns. Upon arriving back in NYC, Paul is disheartened to find his daughter in terrible condition, and his son-in-law coping poorly. There have also been no arrests in his wife's murder, as the police are very busy with a crime spree related to gang violence. Paul is a really sympathetic guy, and his pain is visible, and very real. So,...
1 comment
Read more

Event Horizon

Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g...
1 comment
Read more

Arrival

Arrival - in which aliens come by the earth to make some new friends, and it goes okay. First, some scary ships have descended on Earth, and there's a bunch of them, like 30, and they just look like hovering rocks. The militaries of the world are cooperating with each other, except the jerks like N. Korea and Russia, and the other new axis guys. So, the plot happens when Forest Whitaker comes to find Amy Adams in the college where she works, this is while the alien invasion is new, and she is convinced to go help communicate with the aliens. She gets there and makes friends with physicist Jeremy Renner, and they work together to decipher the inky messages the squid-aliens transmit. The messages are all visual. They work on this together for months, hanging out in the ship with the aliens, struggling to communicate. Amy Adams starts having visions, or dreams, of the future, where she has a daughter, who dies of cancer, and she knew her daughter would have cancer and die, but she ...
1 comment
Read more