Solo, A Star Wars Story

Solo: A Star Wars Story - in which Han Solo has a does his first big heist, and its not a great success, but he sort of figures it out by the end. Its fine. Its... its fine. The movie starts is when Han is a teenager, and he's been an orphan for a while now, but he's not alone because he has a girlfriend and they are running scams for a local mobster. He grifts a little off the top, and uses it to bribe his way off the most depressing planet I've seen in a long time. Han tries to bring his girlfriend Qi'ra, but they get busted and she's dragged back to her grimy life of crime. Something cringey happens at the space airport, but whatever, I'm over it. Han joins the Army to escape Corellia, but it isn't working out for Han, so he defects after they throw him to a literal wolf, except its a tortured Chewbacca, and Han rescues him! So, they escape together, Woody Harrelson gives them a lift, and invites them to a heist, but it goes south, and they lose all of the old crew. Then this other gangster, Dryden, shows up to intimidate Woody, and his favorite sex trafficked assistant is Qi'ra! So, they all put their heads together to go on a mission to get more space fuel. However, they need a fast ship, so they go and try to con one off of some suave motherfucker named Lando, and they fail, but then they offer him a share of the take, so he's in. Now, the Kessel Run. Spice Mines of Kessel, giant space Chthulu, robot insurrection, some enslaved wookies, expert piloting, Qi'ra is amazing and charming and so is Han. Everyone does a great job, BUT the same jags who blew up their first heist are trying to fuck up the second one. However, the professed causes of the jags touch Han's heart, and he tries to help them, because he's a nice guy. He ends up having to kill his mentor, Woody Harrelson, and the gangster Dryden. Qi'ra doesn't ride off with him into the galaxy-set, but she takes up the gangster mantle and her new boss is Darth Maul. Han and Lando and Chewie have a great time sailing off together, and it was a nice movie with a cool sideways train.

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