Friday the 13th Part 6

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives - in which Jason is accidentally resurrected by lightning and the smell of fear, and Tommy Jarvis does alright for himself. After watching his mother and sister be murdered by Jason (IV), little Tommy Jarvis spent some time in an institution (V), but now that he's got his nightmares under control, Tommy is visiting Jason's disgusting grave to desecrate Jason's grave (if such a thing is possible) and burn his remains. He brings his own hockey mask for the occasion, and his fellow insane friend helps him dig up Jason's body. It is mostly maggots at this point, but Tommy gets upset, grabs a rake or fence post, and starts stabbing the mush/corpse. In an unexpected twist, the approaching storm arrives instantly, and lightning strikes the metal rod while it is embedded in Jason's body -- waking him up from a deep and scary sleep. The sane friend dies. And the drunk gravedigger.
Tommy sensibly runs to the sheriff's office to report the miracle, and the sheriff of what is now "Forest Green" instead of Crystal Lake, doesn't believe him. But his cute daughter does. So, when the daughter and her friends are re-opening Camp Crystal Lake, but murders start happening, she sensibly runs to Tommy to help him dispose of Jason - once and for all! Using Occult magic and Witchcraft books, Tommy and Blonde woman figure out they need to lure Jason out to the middle of Crystal Lake and re-drown him with an anchor. Tommy lives. Jason dies. This is the one with that terrible RV sex scene. And those paintballing office coworkers add to Jason's body count significantly.

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Death Wish

Death Wish (1974) - in which the justice system fails a man who lost his family, and he goes off the rails in finding personal justice. I mean vengeance. Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a husband and father and architect, who has a nice NYC life. One day, near the beginning of the movie, Paul's wife is murdered and his daughter is raped into a catatonic state, from which she will not likely recover. Sexist. Anyways, Paul is destroyed, so his boss sends him out to New Mexico, or another lawless state, for a 3 month long project. Paul does some recovering while he is out there, and is befriended by his big money client, with a big hat and big guns. Upon arriving back in NYC, Paul is disheartened to find his daughter in terrible condition, and his son-in-law coping poorly. There have also been no arrests in his wife's murder, as the police are very busy with a crime spree related to gang violence. Paul is a really sympathetic guy, and his pain is visible, and very real. So,

Event Horizon

Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g

Raw

Raw - in which France has the grossest veterinary school imaginable, and vegetarianism is the thinking woman's solution to the broken Greek system. Some skinny girl goes to the same veterinary school her older sister is currently attending, and her bitch sister doesn't even help her move in to the dorm she is sharing with a guy. Albeit a gay guy, but I'm assuming not all of the men in this coed dorm are gay. The first night the hazing begins, the freshmen are herded out of their rooms by threat of violence, and all of their mattresses are thrown onto the front lawn. It takes a surreal turn into gross-cinema discomfort at the rave they are all taken to and our tiny protagonist runs into her mean sister and is peer pressured into taking some club drugs. Things are just starting to get weird. Some kind of creepy things are happening, but it mostly just reminds me of the lonely horror of my college experience, except I wasn't peer pressured into eating a rabbit kidney,

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