The Hills Have Eyes - in which a nice family who seems to get along and like each other are stuck out in the desert thanks to the exploratory whims of their red faced father. Harbinger at gas station does really seem to warn them of the trouble. They get broken down and trapped, and picked off one by one by an icky family of inbred weirdos. Who are definitely cannibals. The dad walks back to the gas station, but doesn't make it back alive. The hill girl helps save the baby and runs over a bunch of rocks with it. The baby is saved, one dog is murdered, the other dog saves the day.
Ghost Rider - in which Nic Cage plays Johnny Blaze and some rando plays Ghost Rider and Eva Mendez fails all women. To start, some teenagers play Johnny Blaze and Roxanne as a couple in love, but Johnny Blaze can't commit to her because he feels like carny trash, and his dad has cancer. So, when Johnny finds out about his dad's cancer, he gets real upset, and is therefore vulnerable when approached by a Devil, and gladly exchanges his soul for his father's health. Joke's on him, because the Devil is a jerk and as soon as the cancer is gone, Papa Blaze breaks his neck, I guess, or he is mangled by a ring of fire. Its hard to say. Sad, though. Okay, so thirty years go by before Mr. Devil cashes in his Johnny Blaze favor, but in a chilling and tragic coincidence, he does it on the ONE NIGHT Blaze has a date to reconcile with Roxanne, whom he has run into as an adult. While Blaze turns into Ghost Rider and it looks terrible, poor Roxanne (Eva Mendes) is left stood up at...

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