Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - in which Tina Fey does real acting, portraying a woman who did real reporting, and Alfred Molina does some real dancing. Okay, so, Tina Fey is this boring brunette who lives and works in NYC in cable news in 2003, and she has an epiphany on a treadmill, which I was assured by Liz Lemon, was for zipping up dresses while alone, and moves to Afghanistan to be a war reporter. She was a NY 7, but in Kabul, she is a 9.5. Margot Robbie is a 13. So, she learns how hard it is to operate overseas, and does some good reporting, and gets along with the military, even Colonel or something Billy Bob Thorton. She lands this interview with a minister of defense or state or something, and it is Alfred Molina with a great, big, bushy beard! He is very into her, she tries to stick to her questions. Oh, Tina has this professional and sexy translator who has a secret crush on her, but he doesn't approve of all of her dangerous choices, so he leaves in a very gentle manner, having recently gotten married to a nice Afghani woman. So, the compound all of the reporters live at is basically like a co-ed frat house, and there are rave-like parties with tons of drugs every single night. Initially Tina has a boyfriend back home, but she keeps staying in Kabul instead of going home for Xmas, so that doesn't last. They refer to their behavior as the "Ka-bubble," implying that they won't be required to take their STD's or heroin addictions back home with them. Movie has a lot of layers, the New Bilbo Baggins shows up periodically, and is kind of a dick, but apparently really good in bed. So, when dude gets kidnapped, for the second time, Tina Fey goes to her Minister friend to get him back. He tries to blackmail her into sex, but she flips it and blackmails him back with a security camera footage of him dancing at a reporter compound rave. Ha! English guy gets free, and chooses to stay in the war zone again. Margot Robbie does some stupid stuff to get a story, too dangerous, and pays for it... with her life! The war never ends, (not really) so the movie just kind of ends when Tina Fey comes back home to work for a nice, no-nonsense Black lady.

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Death Wish

Death Wish (1974) - in which the justice system fails a man who lost his family, and he goes off the rails in finding personal justice. I mean vengeance. Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a husband and father and architect, who has a nice NYC life. One day, near the beginning of the movie, Paul's wife is murdered and his daughter is raped into a catatonic state, from which she will not likely recover. Sexist. Anyways, Paul is destroyed, so his boss sends him out to New Mexico, or another lawless state, for a 3 month long project. Paul does some recovering while he is out there, and is befriended by his big money client, with a big hat and big guns. Upon arriving back in NYC, Paul is disheartened to find his daughter in terrible condition, and his son-in-law coping poorly. There have also been no arrests in his wife's murder, as the police are very busy with a crime spree related to gang violence. Paul is a really sympathetic guy, and his pain is visible, and very real. So,...

Event Horizon

Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g...

Raw

Raw - in which France has the grossest veterinary school imaginable, and vegetarianism is the thinking woman's solution to the broken Greek system. Some skinny girl goes to the same veterinary school her older sister is currently attending, and her bitch sister doesn't even help her move in to the dorm she is sharing with a guy. Albeit a gay guy, but I'm assuming not all of the men in this coed dorm are gay. The first night the hazing begins, the freshmen are herded out of their rooms by threat of violence, and all of their mattresses are thrown onto the front lawn. It takes a surreal turn into gross-cinema discomfort at the rave they are all taken to and our tiny protagonist runs into her mean sister and is peer pressured into taking some club drugs. Things are just starting to get weird. Some kind of creepy things are happening, but it mostly just reminds me of the lonely horror of my college experience, except I wasn't peer pressured into eating a rabbit kidney, ...

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