Cemetery Man - in which Rupert Everett is the guardian of the worst cemetery ever, and then Death makes him his bitch. Okay, so, in this cemetery in Buffalora, Italy, has this nasty problem of the dead rising from their graves, but the town has employed Francesco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett) to keep the corpses in their holes with a revolver, a shovel, and a simpleton assistant. Its a weird movie, but the plot mostly follows this beautiful woman, who meets Dellamorte while attending the funeral of her old, dead husband, and he continues to creep on her while she mourns her lost love. Then things get sexy, and they do it on her husband's grave, but his corpse reanimates and bites her, and she dies, and Dellamorte lays her body out in the ausserie (sp?) She reanimates, and he shoots her, and there are lots of scarves and veils and stuff blowing around the whole time. Like, this is barely the beginning of the whole movie.
He continues to encounter beautiful Anna Falchi in multiple incarnations, all in the same life. And there is some weird stuff going on with the town, the local government officials seem perfectly happy to have Dellamorte to handle all of the undead business, and he can't seem to really see his friend Franco, and his simple assistant Gnaghi vomits on a girl he likes, but then she dies in an unrelated circumstance, and her severed head... well, Gnaghi sort of keeps her as a pet, and she doesn't mind, because she kind of just likes the attention. There's also this motorcycle kid named Claudio, and some girl who will not stop whining his name.
Anna Falchi appears as the mayor's assistant, who tells Dellamorte she can only be with an impotent man, so he gets chemically castrated, but then she leaves him because her boss, the mayor of Buffalora, raped her, and she liked it. Thanks, movie. Whatevs. Then, the next time she appears, she is a student, and he gets to screw her brains out, but, Oh, no! She is actually a prostitute. Is this better than enjoying a rape? Its hard to tell, but Anna Falchi is so distractingly good-looking, I kind of don't care. Italians made this movie, and they have different ideas about basically everything.
Dellamorte gets caught up in this situation where he keeps killing people, but the police don't care. He is the keeper of the cemetery, and the job gets more permanent all of the time. He tries to run away in his VW Beetle, but Death stops him by ending the road, and he's gotta chill in Buffalora, I guess, until the dead stop rising from their graves.
Comments
Post a Comment