Skip to main content

The Shining



The Shining - in which a madman has made a film about more madmen, and poor Shelly DuVall barely survives. Jack Torrence moves his wife and son into an isolated hotel for the winter season, and they better plan on getting along, because they are stuck up there for months! Their son, Danny is psychic, and so it makes him more vulnerable to the psychic attacks of the Overlook Hotel. It kind of leaves Wendy alone, and it sinks its teeth into Jack, drawing out his dry-drunk resentment and his natural violent tendencies. A ghost of the guy who murdered his wife and twin daughters keeps showing up to hang out with Jack, and Jack is getting NO work done on his typewriter, despite yelling at nice Wendy to leave him alone. You know, to "concentrate." All work and no play make Jack a dull girl, I know it well. Things really start to deteriorate when the ghosts get Jack drunk, and he personally knocks out the radio and snowcat so Wendy can't call or go for help. On winter vacation in Florida, the nice man who showed Wendy and Danny around the kitchen, Mr. O'Holleran, psychically deduces that the Torrences are in trouble, and he freakin flies up there to save them! And, technically, he does kind of save them, as Wendy and Danny couldn't have gotten away from Jack without the extra snowcat that he arrived in, but Mr. O'Halleran takes an axe to the chest while he is walking around trying to find Wendy. Danny hides from his dad in the giant hedge maze, and Jack freezes to death like a garbage crazy jerk who couldn't handle a little time alone.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider - in which Nic Cage plays Johnny Blaze and some rando plays Ghost Rider and Eva Mendez fails all women. To start, some teenagers play Johnny Blaze and Roxanne as a couple in love, but Johnny Blaze can't commit to her because he feels like carny trash, and his dad has cancer. So, when Johnny finds out about his dad's cancer, he gets real upset, and is therefore vulnerable when approached by a Devil, and gladly exchanges his soul for his father's health. Joke's on him, because the Devil is a jerk and as soon as the cancer is gone, Papa Blaze breaks his neck, I guess, or he is mangled by a ring of fire. Its hard to say. Sad, though. Okay, so thirty years go by before Mr. Devil cashes in his Johnny Blaze favor, but in a chilling and tragic coincidence, he does it on the ONE NIGHT Blaze has a date to reconcile with Roxanne, whom he has run into as an adult. While Blaze turns into Ghost Rider and it looks terrible, poor Roxanne (Eva Mendes) is left stood up at...

The Crush

The Crush - in which Cary Elwes makes out with a teenage girl in 1993, and it wasn't me. Alicia Silverstone is amazing and charming. She plays Adrian, a teenage girl with very rich parents, one friend, and a tenuous grasp on reality. The protagonist is supposed to be this author, played by Cary Elwes, but dude's a creep, so he's the villain to me. Reframed: this guy moves into Adrien's parents'  carriage house, in the back yard, and I guess she's not used to it being rented out, because she keeps going in there. Like, she has no sense of boundaries, and it seems like no one has ever told her "no," in her whole, beautiful life. So, Wesley, from The Princess Bride, I mean, Cary Elwes, is friendly and charming to her, and obviously flattered by the attention of a young woman. Oh, she's 14. Yeah. So, she gets obsessed with him, and he encourages this friendship by talking to her, inviting her in, spending time with her, and taking her suggestions, like...

Duck Tales - Treasure of the Lost Lamp

Duck Tales: Treasure of the Lost Lamp - in which Scrooge McDuck and his 3 nephews go on a treasure hunting expedition and score big. So, Scrooge and a rival are hunting for a treasure in a cave, and he outwits them, and gets there first. But he is soon outwitted, and he loses the treasure, except a dinky lamp that they let Webby keep. There is a genie in the lamp! The children discover it, and make some dumb wishes, and its cute and fine. Until the rival, who is a shape shifting mage who previously owned the lamp, gets a hold of it again, and wishes himself the McDuck fortune. The mage wished for unlimited wished back in 42AD, so now he gets them. Well, he can't get away with it, and the ducks concoct a plan  to take back the lamp. Scrooge uses his 3rd wish to wish genie into be a real boy, so he can't be a slave anymore. It works. Everyone gets ice cream.