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Bram Stoker's Dracula




Bram Stoker's Dracula - is not the book, as the title would suggest, but a strange and terrible movie Francis Ford Coppola made after reading Dracula, the book. First of all, Keanu Reeves is trying his best, but no one should have asked him to do an English accent. He makes Jonathan Harker into a sweet, lovable kid, and Winona Ryder's Mina is much too advanced for him. Okay, some weird stuff - Gary Oldman as Dracula appears as a strange warrior weirdo with a suit that looks like the sinew of muscles, from like 1400 or something. Then he has a double-beehive hairdo and some wicked red robes when Keanu finally shows up with some paperwork. Okay, the effects are cool. They're all in-camera and the moving shadows look neat, but it saves nothing. Yes, real effects are used to turn Dracula into a wolf monster who has sex with Lucy. In wolf form. Gross. Yuck, its so gross!
    The plot continues according to what normally happens, with some weirdness added in, like Dracula trying to take Mina to a stag flick. And the dummy goes with him. I guess she's under his thrall, but he is so disgusting, its hard to process the thrall aspect of this Dracula. Its hard to process how awful this movie is. And its hard to choose one terrible picture to represent all the bizarre hot mess of trash. So, I won't.











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