Judge Dredd - in which Sylvester Stallone tries to restore Law and Order to the East Coast Megacity, one urban mega block at a time. Um, Stallone plays Dredd, a judge who is found guilty of a crime he didn't commit, and he is exiled from the megacity. He wanders the wasteland for a little while, he finds a friend in Rob Schneider, and they sneak back into the megacity through a tunnel that shoots fire in regular internals, but they easily outrun the fire. Dredd has to get into command central to prove to the system he didn't actually break THE LAW, he is assisted by his former partner, a young woman who was hoping to learn so much from the honorable Judge Dredd, but I guess that didn't work out. So, Dredd and his codpiece break back into headquarters and manage to clear his name, despite the fact that public opinion is against him. Turns out, what had happened was that Dredd was framed for his crime with DNA from his clone brother, Rico, he didn't know about. Rico is both Armand Assante and relentless. Dredd exposes the existence of Rico and how bad he is, clearing his own name, and making the streets safe for him to patrol again. Remake was much better.
Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g
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