Iron Jawed Angels - in which Hilary Swank tells the real story of
Alice Paul, the suffragette who was jailed as a POLITICAL PRISONER in
20th century America. There is a ton of modern music (Sarah McLaughlin)
and weird cinematography/edits to convey how contemporary the story of
women suffrage truly is. Okay, so Alice Paul has a hot friend named Lucy Burns, and they historically formed the National Women's Party
after parting on bad terms with Angelica Huston and Anna Howard Shaw and
the NAWSA over political differences (aka how to attain suffrage, state
by state or constitutional amendment). From their Washington DC office,
Alice and Lucy recruit a bunch of women in the high stakes world of the
real world, where feminism and political activism can get you locked
up. BUT NO ONE IS GAY, McDreamy is a reporter Alice Paul has romantic
lunch with several times, but no sex because she's a Quaker. Not because
she's gay. Because she's not, okay? Whatever, the graphic masturbation
scene spliced with learning to drive a car, all under mother-fucking Stumbling Towards Ecstasy,
are you kidding me??? Moving on, Alice Paul and her friends picket the
Woodrow Wilson White House until WWI were declared, then they keep doing
it, and are locked up for made up infractions, and taken as political
prisoners in 20th century America. Lucy Burns was the first person to
get arrested for suffrage, but Alice Paul was later arrested, force fed
while she was on a hunger strike, and effected real political change
through much suffering. This movie is historically accurate, so that's
good. But silly, somehow. Then the 19th Amendment passes congress, and
everyone throws their hats in the air! Cue more gay music.
The Crush - in which Cary Elwes makes out with a teenage girl in 1993, and it wasn't me. Alicia Silverstone is amazing and charming. She plays Adrian, a teenage girl with very rich parents, one friend, and a tenuous grasp on reality. The protagonist is supposed to be this author, played by Cary Elwes, but dude's a creep, so he's the villain to me. Reframed: this guy moves into Adrien's parents' carriage house, in the back yard, and I guess she's not used to it being rented out, because she keeps going in there. Like, she has no sense of boundaries, and it seems like no one has ever told her "no," in her whole, beautiful life. So, Wesley, from The Princess Bride, I mean, Cary Elwes, is friendly and charming to her, and obviously flattered by the attention of a young woman. Oh, she's 14. Yeah. So, she gets obsessed with him, and he encourages this friendship by talking to her, inviting her in, spending time with her, and taking her suggestions, like...

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