Skip to main content

Kill Bill 1 + 2

Kill Bill Vol 1 - in which a nameless, badass assassin blonde takes revenge on the co workers who bludgeoned her to near death on her sham wedding day. Starting out, she makes a list, which does not appear to be alphabetical, but in ascending order of who she hates the most. The fights are brutal, first with Verita Green, who, arguably, should have been named Black Mamba, but maybe she was the last to pick names or join the team: The Deadly Viper Squad. The Bride takes her out, but has some sage words for her daughter. In Japan The Bride gets Hatori Hanzo to come out of his sworn retirement to make her a special revenge sword, because Bill deserves it. O-Ren has a personal army the bride takes down several henchmen at a time in a reverse massacre. Jumpsuit on fleek. O-Ren Ishii bites it after an exactly 5 minute sword fight to the classic rock song Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood by The Animals. There's this crazy part near the beginning where Elle almost kills the bride in her coma, but Bill calls her off.




Kill Bill Vol 2 - in which Beatrix (formally the bride) finishes her to-do list and saves time by doing two in the same location. Bea finds Bud, who wasn't hiding really hard, but he's waiting for her with a rock salt shotgun. Having a leg up on Bea, Bud buries her alive, like a jerk, and Bea time travels via flashback to a temple in Japan where she learned how to succeed at assassin life from the mean wizard Pai Mei. Bea punches her way out of her coffin and digs out of her own grave and finds Elle at Buds trailer - she has killed Bud with a poisonous snake. She thinks its funny, but its not. Elle dies, and she fucking deserves it. Bea finds Bill and finds out her daughter has survived. As the title suggests, Beatrix does, in fact, kill Bill. You go, girl.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Death Wish

Death Wish (1974) - in which the justice system fails a man who lost his family, and he goes off the rails in finding personal justice. I mean vengeance. Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a husband and father and architect, who has a nice NYC life. One day, near the beginning of the movie, Paul's wife is murdered and his daughter is raped into a catatonic state, from which she will not likely recover. Sexist. Anyways, Paul is destroyed, so his boss sends him out to New Mexico, or another lawless state, for a 3 month long project. Paul does some recovering while he is out there, and is befriended by his big money client, with a big hat and big guns. Upon arriving back in NYC, Paul is disheartened to find his daughter in terrible condition, and his son-in-law coping poorly. There have also been no arrests in his wife's murder, as the police are very busy with a crime spree related to gang violence. Paul is a really sympathetic guy, and his pain is visible, and very real. So,...
1 comment
Read more

Event Horizon

Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g...
1 comment
Read more

Arrival

Arrival - in which aliens come by the earth to make some new friends, and it goes okay. First, some scary ships have descended on Earth, and there's a bunch of them, like 30, and they just look like hovering rocks. The militaries of the world are cooperating with each other, except the jerks like N. Korea and Russia, and the other new axis guys. So, the plot happens when Forest Whitaker comes to find Amy Adams in the college where she works, this is while the alien invasion is new, and she is convinced to go help communicate with the aliens. She gets there and makes friends with physicist Jeremy Renner, and they work together to decipher the inky messages the squid-aliens transmit. The messages are all visual. They work on this together for months, hanging out in the ship with the aliens, struggling to communicate. Amy Adams starts having visions, or dreams, of the future, where she has a daughter, who dies of cancer, and she knew her daughter would have cancer and die, but she ...
1 comment
Read more