The Horror of Dracula

The Horror of Dracula - in which Christopher Lee is mother fucking DRACULA, but Peter Cushing defeats him anyway. So, it begins, as it should, with Jonathan Harker visiting Castle Dracula looking like a nerd, and Dracula greets him creepily, then locks him in a room for the evening. Harker is there as a librarian, and Dracula assures him he will get to look at all the books tomorrow. But, while Drax is sleeping, Harker creeps him and tries to stake him! Twist! He does not succeed, however, and Dracula converts him and flies to London to take his woman. Back in the city, Harker's girlfriend is Lucy, and she lives with her brother Arthur and his wife, Mina. Yeah, I know. Its actually better this way. So, Dracula starts his long-term plan to bring Lucy back to his lair, but Van Helsing is snooping around, looking for his friend, Harker. Jonathan had been keeping him in the loop, vampire-wise, so Van Helsing is on Dracula's trail. He enlists the help of Arthur, and they trek to Castle Dracula, they have to kill their friend who is a vampire now, but then Van Helsing totally kills Dracula, but only because the script says so. Christopher Lee rules. He's probably a god by now.

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Death Wish

Death Wish (1974) - in which the justice system fails a man who lost his family, and he goes off the rails in finding personal justice. I mean vengeance. Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a husband and father and architect, who has a nice NYC life. One day, near the beginning of the movie, Paul's wife is murdered and his daughter is raped into a catatonic state, from which she will not likely recover. Sexist. Anyways, Paul is destroyed, so his boss sends him out to New Mexico, or another lawless state, for a 3 month long project. Paul does some recovering while he is out there, and is befriended by his big money client, with a big hat and big guns. Upon arriving back in NYC, Paul is disheartened to find his daughter in terrible condition, and his son-in-law coping poorly. There have also been no arrests in his wife's murder, as the police are very busy with a crime spree related to gang violence. Paul is a really sympathetic guy, and his pain is visible, and very real. So,...

Event Horizon

Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g...

Arrival

Arrival - in which aliens come by the earth to make some new friends, and it goes okay. First, some scary ships have descended on Earth, and there's a bunch of them, like 30, and they just look like hovering rocks. The militaries of the world are cooperating with each other, except the jerks like N. Korea and Russia, and the other new axis guys. So, the plot happens when Forest Whitaker comes to find Amy Adams in the college where she works, this is while the alien invasion is new, and she is convinced to go help communicate with the aliens. She gets there and makes friends with physicist Jeremy Renner, and they work together to decipher the inky messages the squid-aliens transmit. The messages are all visual. They work on this together for months, hanging out in the ship with the aliens, struggling to communicate. Amy Adams starts having visions, or dreams, of the future, where she has a daughter, who dies of cancer, and she knew her daughter would have cancer and die, but she ...

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