Skip to main content

Fright Night



Fright Night - in which a teenage boy is the only one who has the good sense to identify and fear the new vampire in town, and his friends make fun of him. So, Charlie has this nice girlfriend named Amy, and they are hanging out when Charlie glances out the window and sees his new, handsome neighbor biting the beautiful prostitute he had invited over. He doesn't really freak out until the next day, when he see's the vampire's goul-servant taking out the body the next day. Charlie watches a lot of horror movies, so he's got some info, but his friend, Evil Ed, has the real down low, so he goes to him for advice. Evil Ed makes fun of Charlie, but gives him some solid info. However, by the time Charlie gets home - his mom has invited the VAMPIRE, Jerry, inside. Jerry threatens Charlie and his mom, and Charlie decides to get real, and he hunts down his local horror movie host, Peter Vincent, and tries to enlist his help. Peter Vincent does not believe Charlie, of course, because no one believes in vampires anymore, except that town in Africa that's hunting them, en mass. However, Charlie is driving Amy and Evil insane, so they offer to pay Peter Vincent to investigate Jerry the Vampire, and he agrees. Of course, Jerry is really a vampire, and Peter Vincent accidentally figures it out with a mirror, and everyone panicks, but that tips Jerry off, and so he kidnaps Amy from a dance club, with Charlie in hot pursuit. Evil Ed gets bitten and changed, and he goes after Charlie, and poor Charlie has to kill his friend and its disgusting. So, Jerry has Amy locked away, and he definitely fingers her, and Charlie and Peter break in and fight Jerry for Amy. Jerry turns into a bat, and Amy has grown long hair with magic. They defeat Jerry and save Amy, and the neighborhood is safe!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider - in which Nic Cage plays Johnny Blaze and some rando plays Ghost Rider and Eva Mendez fails all women. To start, some teenagers play Johnny Blaze and Roxanne as a couple in love, but Johnny Blaze can't commit to her because he feels like carny trash, and his dad has cancer. So, when Johnny finds out about his dad's cancer, he gets real upset, and is therefore vulnerable when approached by a Devil, and gladly exchanges his soul for his father's health. Joke's on him, because the Devil is a jerk and as soon as the cancer is gone, Papa Blaze breaks his neck, I guess, or he is mangled by a ring of fire. Its hard to say. Sad, though. Okay, so thirty years go by before Mr. Devil cashes in his Johnny Blaze favor, but in a chilling and tragic coincidence, he does it on the ONE NIGHT Blaze has a date to reconcile with Roxanne, whom he has run into as an adult. While Blaze turns into Ghost Rider and it looks terrible, poor Roxanne (Eva Mendes) is left stood up at...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Crush

The Crush - in which Cary Elwes makes out with a teenage girl in 1993, and it wasn't me. Alicia Silverstone is amazing and charming. She plays Adrian, a teenage girl with very rich parents, one friend, and a tenuous grasp on reality. The protagonist is supposed to be this author, played by Cary Elwes, but dude's a creep, so he's the villain to me. Reframed: this guy moves into Adrien's parents'  carriage house, in the back yard, and I guess she's not used to it being rented out, because she keeps going in there. Like, she has no sense of boundaries, and it seems like no one has ever told her "no," in her whole, beautiful life. So, Wesley, from The Princess Bride, I mean, Cary Elwes, is friendly and charming to her, and obviously flattered by the attention of a young woman. Oh, she's 14. Yeah. So, she gets obsessed with him, and he encourages this friendship by talking to her, inviting her in, spending time with her, and taking her suggestions, like...
Post a Comment
Read more

Duck Tales - Treasure of the Lost Lamp

Duck Tales: Treasure of the Lost Lamp - in which Scrooge McDuck and his 3 nephews go on a treasure hunting expedition and score big. So, Scrooge and a rival are hunting for a treasure in a cave, and he outwits them, and gets there first. But he is soon outwitted, and he loses the treasure, except a dinky lamp that they let Webby keep. There is a genie in the lamp! The children discover it, and make some dumb wishes, and its cute and fine. Until the rival, who is a shape shifting mage who previously owned the lamp, gets a hold of it again, and wishes himself the McDuck fortune. The mage wished for unlimited wished back in 42AD, so now he gets them. Well, he can't get away with it, and the ducks concoct a plan  to take back the lamp. Scrooge uses his 3rd wish to wish genie into be a real boy, so he can't be a slave anymore. It works. Everyone gets ice cream.
Post a Comment
Read more