Skip to main content

Deranged

Deranged - in which the true, boring story of Ed Gein is told through the use of 70's era low-budget horror techniques and mediocre acting. Apparently, the movie has an alternate title, or, a subtitle of Confessions of a Necrophile. Gross. So, the main character is Ezra Cobb, AKA Ed Gein, and he is played by the snow-shovel killer neighbor from Home Alone. There are no children is this movie. So, the worst parts are when Ed is in some weird, carpeted club, talking to waitresses (who you murder when you can't find a prostitute!), and ordering drinks it doesn't look like he can afford. So, he brings home that one girl to murder by "acting natural" and convincing her to go against her instincts and protestations and enter his creepy home. Surprise! His mother's corpse is there, he dug her up because he missed her after her funeral. Bam! Kills her with blunt force trauma. It is only a surprise to her, not to the audience in any way. Soooo, he's got cereal bowls made out of human skulls, and then he kills another girl at some point, using much of the same methods. It takes forever, and all he wants to do is chop them up and replace decaying parts of his mother with parts of women he is definitely sexually  attracted to. Everything in this movie is gross. It even smells gross. Finally, the uncomfortable movie rolls some credits I think it already showed us, and we are left to try to think of a decent segue to having normal conversations or sexual relations, meanwhile not admitting any wrong doing about putting Deranged on in the first place. It's fine, I have a lot of other things to talk about.

PS. There is a narrator.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Death Wish

Death Wish (1974) - in which the justice system fails a man who lost his family, and he goes off the rails in finding personal justice. I mean vengeance. Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a husband and father and architect, who has a nice NYC life. One day, near the beginning of the movie, Paul's wife is murdered and his daughter is raped into a catatonic state, from which she will not likely recover. Sexist. Anyways, Paul is destroyed, so his boss sends him out to New Mexico, or another lawless state, for a 3 month long project. Paul does some recovering while he is out there, and is befriended by his big money client, with a big hat and big guns. Upon arriving back in NYC, Paul is disheartened to find his daughter in terrible condition, and his son-in-law coping poorly. There have also been no arrests in his wife's murder, as the police are very busy with a crime spree related to gang violence. Paul is a really sympathetic guy, and his pain is visible, and very real. So,...
1 comment
Read more

Event Horizon

Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g...
1 comment
Read more

Arrival

Arrival - in which aliens come by the earth to make some new friends, and it goes okay. First, some scary ships have descended on Earth, and there's a bunch of them, like 30, and they just look like hovering rocks. The militaries of the world are cooperating with each other, except the jerks like N. Korea and Russia, and the other new axis guys. So, the plot happens when Forest Whitaker comes to find Amy Adams in the college where she works, this is while the alien invasion is new, and she is convinced to go help communicate with the aliens. She gets there and makes friends with physicist Jeremy Renner, and they work together to decipher the inky messages the squid-aliens transmit. The messages are all visual. They work on this together for months, hanging out in the ship with the aliens, struggling to communicate. Amy Adams starts having visions, or dreams, of the future, where she has a daughter, who dies of cancer, and she knew her daughter would have cancer and die, but she ...
1 comment
Read more