Skip to main content

Frailty



Frailty - in which Bill Paxton has two adorable sons, whom he tries to mold into monster fighters, or serial killers, depending on your position. So, Bill Paxton is a nice dad with two sons and no wife, and they have a nice house behind the town's rose garden. So, the trouble starts when Bill Paxton gets a clear message from God that he is being enlisted to slay demons, and his sons can help, too, the only catch is that the demons are inhabiting human bodies, and therefore it looks like he is murdering humans, but he is sure he is slaying demons. God gave him a magical pipe, a huge axe and some gloves as tools, and said when Paxton touches the bodies, their demon faces will be revealed. The oldest son has some understandable problems with digging graves in the aforementioned rose garden, but Paxton cannot abide his son's skepticism, and makes him dig what turns out to be a murder dungeon, in hopes of convincing him to pray. The poor kid cannot see these demons, and just sees his dad and little brother murdering humans, which is, understandably upsetting. The whole thing is a little ambiguous. So, the entire framework of this tale is told through the narration of Matthew McConaughey as the supposed older brother, Fenton, telling FBI guy Powers Boothe about where all these bodies are buried by his serial killer younger brother, who is killing people in a ritualistic fashion and the FBI are on the case! This is maybe the best twist in any movie ever: McConaughey is actually the younger brother who was helping his dad slay all those demons, and Fenton is the one who is the serial killer, which his father predicted, per God. Adam, the younger brother, was right all along and him and his dad had powers and were slaying demons, and when he found out his older brother was killing girls, he put him down like a dog and buried him in the rose garden too. Stupid Fenton killed their nice dad years ago when they were younger, when Paxton tried to make him slay a demon, but instead he buried the ax in his father's chest. Stop! He was doing the right thing! God really told him to! So, at the end of the movie, Adam knows that Powers Boothe killed his mom, and he slays him and buries him in the rose garden next to Fenton, and all the bodies he has put there over the years. He will never be caught, because he is doing the Lord's work.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Crush

The Crush - in which Cary Elwes makes out with a teenage girl in 1993, and it wasn't me. Alicia Silverstone is amazing and charming. She plays Adrian, a teenage girl with very rich parents, one friend, and a tenuous grasp on reality. The protagonist is supposed to be this author, played by Cary Elwes, but dude's a creep, so he's the villain to me. Reframed: this guy moves into Adrien's parents'  carriage house, in the back yard, and I guess she's not used to it being rented out, because she keeps going in there. Like, she has no sense of boundaries, and it seems like no one has ever told her "no," in her whole, beautiful life. So, Wesley, from The Princess Bride, I mean, Cary Elwes, is friendly and charming to her, and obviously flattered by the attention of a young woman. Oh, she's 14. Yeah. So, she gets obsessed with him, and he encourages this friendship by talking to her, inviting her in, spending time with her, and taking her suggestions, like...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider - in which Nic Cage plays Johnny Blaze and some rando plays Ghost Rider and Eva Mendez fails all women. To start, some teenagers play Johnny Blaze and Roxanne as a couple in love, but Johnny Blaze can't commit to her because he feels like carny trash, and his dad has cancer. So, when Johnny finds out about his dad's cancer, he gets real upset, and is therefore vulnerable when approached by a Devil, and gladly exchanges his soul for his father's health. Joke's on him, because the Devil is a jerk and as soon as the cancer is gone, Papa Blaze breaks his neck, I guess, or he is mangled by a ring of fire. Its hard to say. Sad, though. Okay, so thirty years go by before Mr. Devil cashes in his Johnny Blaze favor, but in a chilling and tragic coincidence, he does it on the ONE NIGHT Blaze has a date to reconcile with Roxanne, whom he has run into as an adult. While Blaze turns into Ghost Rider and it looks terrible, poor Roxanne (Eva Mendes) is left stood up at...
Post a Comment
Read more

Event Horizon

Event Horizon - in which sci fi space body horror gets very fucking real, and totally gross. First, Lawrence Fishburne is a space captain named Miller, and his first mate is Joely Richardson, and she rocks. Her accent is real. A bunch of space sailors are escorting science genius Sam Neill to the wreckage of a space ship. It wasn't just a space ship, it was a massive black hole generating machine, and it recently re-emerged around Neptune, and now its just orbiting, being spooky af. To give all the details, Sam Neill, AKA Dr. Weir, is having creepy dreams about his dead wife in his cryo/gravi-sleep pod before they even get to the abandoned wreck. Oh, its called the Event Horizon. So, once the crew rolls up on Event Horizon they get nervous, because its creepy, and a few people go out to investigate the empty ship. Miller orders Dr. Weir to stay aboard their vessel, and he doesn't do a good job of listening. As soon as the crew splits up, one young guy gets sucked into the g...
1 comment
Read more