Skip to main content

Mad Max Fury Road



Fury Road - in which the apocalypse has gone terribly, and poor Mad Max has been alone in the desert so long, he has forgotten how to talk. First, he grumbles out some exposition, so we know how awful things have been for him, but he still has the Interceptor.  Not for long. Then, Max is overtaken by a gang of powder-skinned weirdos in savage vehicles that look like they used to be cars. They take him to a large mesa, he tries to escape, but he is recaptured and tattooed and caged. There is a strange and icky society that lives inside the mesas. And some deformed weirdos who live on the ground level of this city, The Citadel. So, Furiosa is an Imperator, which maybe what they call generals in Australia, with one mechanical arm, and she is leading a caravan of trucks to Gas Town to get gas, but she goes off the rails and it turns out she had a secret plan to escape from Immorten Joe the whole time, and she took his prized breeding women. Those poor girls. Anyway, on the road, they are spied to be off course and Immo Joe sends a bunch of war parties after the runaway trucks. Mad Max  is roped into this because he is brought along as a blood donor to the driver of one of the war cars, and he is strapped to the grille. Furiosa has made a deal to get a pass into some buzzard lands, but they don't want to do the deal because she brought more trouble than gas.
      A road chase ensues. There is a guy with a flame-throwing guitar, a bunch of pole-cat guys, and everyone keeps yelling about Valhalla. By the way, Immorten Joe is Toe Cutter. Just the same actor. So, Max gets mixed up with these women, and the war boy he was attached to turns into a stowaway on their rig. Max and Furiosa do not fall in love, but he still helps her get where she is going, but it turns out that her childhood home has been eaten by the desert as well. Max is just like, "Oh, well. Guess we have to turn around and take over the Citadel," and the other bitches are like, "Yeah! Good idea! Is it worth it?" And the breeder girls say, "It sure is. There is so much water, you're gonna take two baths." So Furiosa gets on board and they turn around and take over the Citadel by defeating stupid Immorten Joe on the road, with the help of the Vulvalini, the gang of old ladies Furiosa went "home" to. Max isn't gonna stay, though. He got a little sanity, and so, he's off to make friends with some more feral people, or whoever he finds in the Wasteland.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Death Wish

Death Wish (1974) - in which the justice system fails a man who lost his family, and he goes off the rails in finding personal justice. I mean vengeance. Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a husband and father and architect, who has a nice NYC life. One day, near the beginning of the movie, Paul's wife is murdered and his daughter is raped into a catatonic state, from which she will not likely recover. Sexist. Anyways, Paul is destroyed, so his boss sends him out to New Mexico, or another lawless state, for a 3 month long project. Paul does some recovering while he is out there, and is befriended by his big money client, with a big hat and big guns. Upon arriving back in NYC, Paul is disheartened to find his daughter in terrible condition, and his son-in-law coping poorly. There have also been no arrests in his wife's murder, as the police are very busy with a crime spree related to gang violence. Paul is a really sympathetic guy, and his pain is visible, and very real. So,...
1 comment
Read more

Deadpool 2

Deadpool 2 - in which Deadpool cries like a bitch, and I do not. First of all, Deadpool is working, and then he goes home to celebrate an anniversary with his girlfriend, who tells him they can try to have a baby now. Also, he gives her a plot device for a gift, and she gives him her removed IUD. There is no sex scene, and then the two of them are just chilling, and some guy Deadpool neglected to murder comes and kills his girlfriend. Deadpool does not take it well, and even though he like, immediately got revenge on the guy who shot her. Ultimately, he feels both responsible and sad, so he tries to kill himself. It doesn't take. His friend, Colossus, shows up and takes DP to be a part of a B team of X-men, as an official trainee. They go to a showdown between a teen named Russel (Julian Dennison) and some jerks who run the orphanage he lives in. Russel wants to kill the guys who have been abusing him, and Deadpool kind of talks him down, until The kid tells him he was abused b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Crush

The Crush - in which Cary Elwes makes out with a teenage girl in 1993, and it wasn't me. Alicia Silverstone is amazing and charming. She plays Adrian, a teenage girl with very rich parents, one friend, and a tenuous grasp on reality. The protagonist is supposed to be this author, played by Cary Elwes, but dude's a creep, so he's the villain to me. Reframed: this guy moves into Adrien's parents'  carriage house, in the back yard, and I guess she's not used to it being rented out, because she keeps going in there. Like, she has no sense of boundaries, and it seems like no one has ever told her "no," in her whole, beautiful life. So, Wesley, from The Princess Bride, I mean, Cary Elwes, is friendly and charming to her, and obviously flattered by the attention of a young woman. Oh, she's 14. Yeah. So, she gets obsessed with him, and he encourages this friendship by talking to her, inviting her in, spending time with her, and taking her suggestions, like...
Post a Comment
Read more