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Indiana Jones - Raiders



Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark - in which an ethically challenged archeologist struggles to find an item of great power before the Nazis do. This is the one where he tries to take the golden idol and gets chased by a large boulder. He's fine, but there's a snake in his getaway plane - he'll deal. So, Indiana Jones is a jungle archeologist, but also a classroom professor, and he really wanted to go on the hunt for the lost Ark of the Covenant, and he heard the Nazis were also looking for it, and they they had hired his archeo-nemisis to find it, so it seems like they had a good chance. Anyway, he knows where the key to the treasure map is, so he goes to get it from his ex-girlfriend in Nepal. She is not happy to see him, but then when the Nazis show up and burn down her bar looking for the thing, she is glad he is there. They leave together, with the puzzle piece. The whole thing is kinda complicated, like you need to bring this ornament to this underground map room, where there is a miniature of the city, and at a certain time of day you need a staff of a certain height, and the height is determined by the engravings on the ornament, but the Nazis only have half the info because their plastic faced weirdo only burned one of his hands on it. So, that's how Indiana Jones gets to it first, because he has the whole thing, and he has Sala and his friends to help him dig. Marion gets kidnapped, runs away, but then the Nazi monkey gives her up, so they really kidnap her. They give her to Belloch, the French guy Indy is enemies with, but she almost escapes from him by using her incredible alcohol tolerance, but her escape is foiled by Plastic Face. He is the worst.
      So, Indiana Jones is getting the ark from this chamber filled with snakes, but the Nazis show up above ground, take the ark, and trade him Marion, whom they essentially drop into a hole in the ground. Using his smarts, Indy gets them out of the chamber of death and snakes, and they make their way to the Nazis with the box. The ark does not like the Nazis, as it burns their logo off of itself. Like the box they put it in. Anyways, Indy has to murder this giant Nazi with an airplane to get away, but they catch up with the Nazis and Belloch just in time to get held hostage, so they end up tied up for the unboxing of the Original Ten Commandments, or whatever snakes the box may hold. The air and the sky start acting real creepy in this natural stone theater, so Indy yells for Marion to close her eyes, and good thing she does, because everyone who sees the glorious light from inside the ark gets their face melted off. The ark seals itself back up, and the United States government take it to a safe place, probably, and Indy goes back to lecturing. Marion is fine.

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