Southbound - in which four or five horror vignettes brush elbows in a circular fashion, and most of them succeed. One is the story of some guys who are out committing revenge, but they can't escape the alien monster ghosts of the ones they've revenged. Another story is about some girls in a band who have a breakdown on the same road, who end up trusting the wrong helpful motorists and get tricked into joining a cult. One girl makes it out and gets hit by a car, leading to the best segment, where we follow the guy who hit her into an abandoned hospital, carrying her dying body, trying to save her in crude surgery, following commands of some weirdos on the phone. He gets his whole goddamn arm up into her thorax and it's awesome. Then he gets released, and the story switches to a guy trying to "save" his sister from a town of magic wielding freaks, but it is a fruitless pursuit. Full circle to the murder-ees from the first story. 9/10
Ghost Rider - in which Nic Cage plays Johnny Blaze and some rando plays Ghost Rider and Eva Mendez fails all women. To start, some teenagers play Johnny Blaze and Roxanne as a couple in love, but Johnny Blaze can't commit to her because he feels like carny trash, and his dad has cancer. So, when Johnny finds out about his dad's cancer, he gets real upset, and is therefore vulnerable when approached by a Devil, and gladly exchanges his soul for his father's health. Joke's on him, because the Devil is a jerk and as soon as the cancer is gone, Papa Blaze breaks his neck, I guess, or he is mangled by a ring of fire. Its hard to say. Sad, though. Okay, so thirty years go by before Mr. Devil cashes in his Johnny Blaze favor, but in a chilling and tragic coincidence, he does it on the ONE NIGHT Blaze has a date to reconcile with Roxanne, whom he has run into as an adult. While Blaze turns into Ghost Rider and it looks terrible, poor Roxanne (Eva Mendes) is left stood up at...

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