Skip to main content

Baby Driver



Baby Driver - in which a young punk with great taste in music tries to get out of the criminal racket, and meets a nice girl to do it for. Baby is a getaway driver to Kevin Spacey's rotating crew, and he works with the hottest version of Jon Hamm I have ever seen. Baby is a good guy, and is working off a debt, and he means to quit when his debt to Spacey is repaid. He has a nice, deaf foster father he still lives with, and he is always listening to music to combat his trauma-induced tinnitus. He is also always recording stuff and he makes dope mixes that sound like J Dilla, DeeJay.
    So, the conflict is that Spacey wants Baby to keep working for him, so after Baby meets a nice waitress to fall in love with, Spacey can blackmail him into driving. Baby doesn't want to drive with Jaime Foxx because he's a crazy fuck, but he has to. Jon Hamm is very nice to Baby, him and his girlfriend defend Baby's quiet manner. Okay, there are a bunch of car chases that are super cool, and the music lines up with everything. But, then Jaime Foxx comes back for another job and acts like a crazy fuck and Baby tries to stop him from killing strangers and his secret girlfriend. Foxx goes to Baby's place and fucks up his tape collection and hurts his foster-dad. Baby takes his dad to a retirement home with a sweet note pinned to his robe before he books it to get his curly-haired girlfriend with the bag of money from the last job that went horribly. They were gonna hold up a post office, but Baby tips off this nice lady works there by shaking his head at her - its all very subtle, but the job gets fucked up and Foxx is killing a ton of people in the meantime. The sassy girlfriend of Hamm gets shot by the cops while they are in a fucked up getaway, and then Hamm tracks Baby to the diner where his waitress works, and gets shot, but doesn't die right away, so he shoots some cops so Baby can get away, or maybe because he hates cops. Kevin Spacey also wants Baby to get away with his lady, its pretty sweet, so there are some car fights, but they get the cash and almost get away, but the cops aren't that dumb, so Baby has to do a couple years for his involvement. The waitress promises to wait for him, and I believe her.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider - in which Nic Cage plays Johnny Blaze and some rando plays Ghost Rider and Eva Mendez fails all women. To start, some teenagers play Johnny Blaze and Roxanne as a couple in love, but Johnny Blaze can't commit to her because he feels like carny trash, and his dad has cancer. So, when Johnny finds out about his dad's cancer, he gets real upset, and is therefore vulnerable when approached by a Devil, and gladly exchanges his soul for his father's health. Joke's on him, because the Devil is a jerk and as soon as the cancer is gone, Papa Blaze breaks his neck, I guess, or he is mangled by a ring of fire. Its hard to say. Sad, though. Okay, so thirty years go by before Mr. Devil cashes in his Johnny Blaze favor, but in a chilling and tragic coincidence, he does it on the ONE NIGHT Blaze has a date to reconcile with Roxanne, whom he has run into as an adult. While Blaze turns into Ghost Rider and it looks terrible, poor Roxanne (Eva Mendes) is left stood up at...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Crush

The Crush - in which Cary Elwes makes out with a teenage girl in 1993, and it wasn't me. Alicia Silverstone is amazing and charming. She plays Adrian, a teenage girl with very rich parents, one friend, and a tenuous grasp on reality. The protagonist is supposed to be this author, played by Cary Elwes, but dude's a creep, so he's the villain to me. Reframed: this guy moves into Adrien's parents'  carriage house, in the back yard, and I guess she's not used to it being rented out, because she keeps going in there. Like, she has no sense of boundaries, and it seems like no one has ever told her "no," in her whole, beautiful life. So, Wesley, from The Princess Bride, I mean, Cary Elwes, is friendly and charming to her, and obviously flattered by the attention of a young woman. Oh, she's 14. Yeah. So, she gets obsessed with him, and he encourages this friendship by talking to her, inviting her in, spending time with her, and taking her suggestions, like...
Post a Comment
Read more

Duck Tales - Treasure of the Lost Lamp

Duck Tales: Treasure of the Lost Lamp - in which Scrooge McDuck and his 3 nephews go on a treasure hunting expedition and score big. So, Scrooge and a rival are hunting for a treasure in a cave, and he outwits them, and gets there first. But he is soon outwitted, and he loses the treasure, except a dinky lamp that they let Webby keep. There is a genie in the lamp! The children discover it, and make some dumb wishes, and its cute and fine. Until the rival, who is a shape shifting mage who previously owned the lamp, gets a hold of it again, and wishes himself the McDuck fortune. The mage wished for unlimited wished back in 42AD, so now he gets them. Well, he can't get away with it, and the ducks concoct a plan  to take back the lamp. Scrooge uses his 3rd wish to wish genie into be a real boy, so he can't be a slave anymore. It works. Everyone gets ice cream.
Post a Comment
Read more